Forgiveness, better than sex

I knew that would get your attention.


Easter Sunday - 20ZEN, the mood is contemplative.


Upon rising, I RPM'd, (rise-pee-meditate), the acronym and teaching via my beloved meditation teacher, Davidji,  The Chopra Center. Then off to yoga to lay my hands on the mat with my love, Tom Kelly, at The Soul of Yoga. Followed by another favorite temple for downward dog slash total redefining of mind and body, Tim Miller's Ashtanga studio, with new favorite teacher Marne. 


FYI, the above mentioned paid (bribed) me only in hugs, kisses, and karmic cleansing.  No actual money exchanged hands except when I paid for classes and alkaline water before and after class. I felt compelled to proclaim their names in light because of the intention each brings to their practice and how each teacher leads me closer to my experience of truth. I am grateful for all of our teachers, the teachers before us, and the teachers we have yet to meet. 


Cut to forgiveness, which is why I am blogging.  


In each practice today, whether it was meditation, yoga, or waiting in line at Jimbo's for my Hemp Berry Bliss shake, (no THC - not now not ever FYI), I kept hearing the same thing - FORGIVENESS.  In fact, it was quite loud, "FORGIVE yourself already grrrl".  Which by the way, "Grrrl," has entered the Oxford English Dictionary (OED).  "Grrrl" is defined as, "A young woman perceived as strong or aggressive, esp. in her attitude to men or in her expression of feminine independence and sexuality". More on, "Grrrl," and what it means to you later.  Now back to the healing.


The mantra, "Forgive yourself," crept into my awareness and then transformed into, "I am forgiven".  I  came home inspired to do more writing and perhaps throw on an old Spice (no pun intended) Girl's record and shout, "Grrrl POWER".


I googled, "Forgiveness," and it showed 438,000 forgiveness quotes in 0.14 seconds.  Amazed, I wondered what the hell I did before Google entered my life.  Still amazed at Google, I started to think about the word forgiveness, for-give-ness.  Interesting, it's for giving, not against giving, but for giving.  I love this quote, "There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love," Bryant H. McGill.  And Goddess Catherine Ponder, "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”


Today I wrote a list of all my sins, all the dead weight I was carrying around, all the stuff that was hindering my fullest expression of l-o-v-e.  I wrote notebooks and notebooks of shit until the ink ran out of my pen and blisters were forming on my right middle finger, (slight embellishment here).  And then, BOOM, I realized that each experience, each perceived confession of guilt and shame came from a very sacred space.  I, along with Waylon Jennings, was just looking for love in all the wrong places.  


In closing, the sweet words of Waylon Jennings, a lyrical poet with a mustache to be coveted.


I've spent a lifetime looking for you
No more looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Now that I found a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
You, oh you, lookin' for love


All along we were just looking for the love that lies within each us, if we are just ready to for-give.  “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you,” Lewis B. Smedes.  Lewis goes on to say, "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”  Today that person was me.  I am now able to wish, Libbs, well.  I am free in this moment.  It is good to be in-love.


xoxo,




Goddess Grrrl




PS I may or may not be rocking out to Spice Girl's, "Wannabe," in this moment.